Tried to ask my husband for oral and panicked😳

Just need to share my embarrassment. I’ve been giving him lots of oral lately but he hasn’t offered it back. Tonight I said to myself “I’m not gonna let him get into me until he gets creative and gets down there like I’ve done for him multiple times this week. He noticed I was avoiding his moves and asked me what was up (he’s used to me just attacking him not avoiding him when he’s being frisky) and I was like “I want to ask you something but it’s hard for me to say” he pulled away and sat up and looked concerned. That reaction got me panicked. I couldn’t say it. All I could think was “holy crap I’m scaring him. he thinks something is wrong now and when I just want to say ‘I want you to give me oral too sometimes’ I’m gonna sound so petty and stupid” and my social anxiety kicked in and I went full frozen panic mode and then he was really concerned and when I finally inched the words out he was like “oh. I just didn’t think you liked it. Wow, you made that really weird” [he is correct lol] and then he held me for a few minutes saying “it’s okay. Just relax” (he knows when my anxiety kicks In) and then he fell asleep and im just laying here like “wow. He is such a good man. And I completely ruined our night. Why am I like this?”

Just typing it out I feel more calm

😮‍💨

Does anyone else clam up and struggle to communicate sexual preferences and even flirty stuff in bed? How do I overcome??