was I wrong to be disappointed?

So me and my partner have an almost 3yo.

today we had a national "play outside day" or whatever this should translate to.

every village every city every town had free outdoors activities for kids of all ages.

So this morning I sent my partner a list of all the events in the area. All free.

I had to work all day. My partner had worked the nightshift. came to bed at 3:45 tonight and got up at 11am to pickup our kid from school (where I am, regular schooldays are 8:30am-3:45pm but Wednesdays are 8:30 to 12)

He responded to my message with the list, asking me what I meant.

I told him, you could do one of these activities in the afternoon.

When I came home from work, at 5pm, I was kinda disappointed that he didn't even take our kid into our private yard.. like.. come on. The weather was fantastic, I want them to be bonding, I want my kid exposed to situations so he gets familiar with social situations and events and whatever growing and development can come from all that.

But according to him.. I can't be disappointed because he folded the laundry and put away the laundry (somehow that's more important than a bond with our kid?) and they watched motocross together.. (so more indoors and screentime 🙄)

Am I wrong for feeling the way I do?

Screentime and laundry can happen any time any day. But this play outside day thing is once a year. Is tailored for kids specifically and is free - we don't get to do much else due to finances - So I definitely see this as a missed opportunity.

according to my partner.. He didn't want to do it because he didn't feel like it. He doesn't like going to social and especially kids events when I'm not there. 🙄

@Kim

You're not wrong. Now he doesn't mind gatherings, He loves festivals and parties. He just doesn't like activities when they are *for someone else's joy* which I find selfish and detrimental for his bond with his kids (not only ours but I see thesame in his kids and he does thesame to me) so I try to encourage him to take part in activities that are for them specifically.

I sent him a list so he could choose which ever he was most comfortable with 🤷‍♀️

@Daniela

That is true.

I just feel disappointed because he never really does anything for anyone else. It's a growing thing I guess.

If it's a little inconvenient for him, and a lot of fun for someone else, his inconvenience will overrule the fun of the other person.

I guess it's not this thing I'm frustrated about but this is a thing he does all the time.

Like I've been begging him for 9 years to go on a picnic date together. And we have PLANNED picnics before. But the day itself it always turned out to be an inconvenience for him and so we haven't gone ever.

Thesame happens when the kids ask to do activities together, they will only happen if HE thinks the activity is fun for him. He totally disregards how happy it could make someone else.