Bedtime Struggles

My 2yo has always been a great sleeper. We have a super solid bedtime routine, and she does great right up until I say it’s time to get in her sleeping bag and get in her crib. Then it’s screaming and crying.

Our routine is first she nurses, then gets vitamins and brushes teeth, then we go to the bathroom, put on a diaper and pajamas, and then we read stories. I always tell her how many stories she can have (usually 4-5 depending on how late it is) and after every book we count down so she knows when we’re getting to the last one. As soon as we read the last book she starts crying and asking for one more, saying “no” over and over, doesn’t want to get in her sleep sack, and she just wails while I rock her and sing her lullaby, and continues crying when I put her in bed. She asks for more hugs, more mommy, on and on. I always try to tell her something nice that we’ll do in the morning (make a nice breakfast, read whatever book she was asking for, etc) but it doesn’t seem to calm her down. And what’s frustrating is sometimes she settles after 4-5mins, sometimes she keeps crying for 30+ minutes, but there’s no rhyme or reason to it.

I hate leaving her to cry, but it’s not always feasible for me to stay in there or go back in because I also have a 6mo who I need to put to bed, and the way it works out the baby is almost always ready for bed later than my toddler’s bedtime. And the few times I have been able to go back in, it has always made it worse, she just cries longer and takes even longer to fall asleep. I’ve tried adjusting the baby’s schedule too so that she’d go to bed first, but my toddler just won’t sit still while I’m trying to get the baby ready for bed so the baby gets distracted, won’t nurse well, and ends up taking ages to get to sleep and wakes more in the night.

We recently retired my toddler’s binkies, and she did great the first 3-4 nights, but then the crying started. She doesn’t ask for the binkies, hasn’t made mention of them once since we got rid of them, but she just doesn’t seem to be able to settle herself now. Once she’s asleep, she stays asleep all night!

I never used to dread bedtime but now i have so much anxiety about the end of the day. Does anyone have any tips?