Is my MIL trying to hurt my child or is she an idiot?

Question

I have a 16 month old. Last weekend my husband insisted that we visit his mom. She does not like me and never has, pretty sure it’s because she’s racist based on some of the things I overheard her say. 
Anyway, we’re at her house and she tries giving my 16 month old a whole cherry with the pit in and everything. Didn’t even ask if it was ok or how she should serve it. No, just tried to hand the whole thing to the baby. I was mad. My husband intervened and cut it appropriately. Next this dumb bitch tried giving my child ice cream with nuts in it. Another choking hazard. Is this woman an idiot? Or is she doing it on purpose? I waved my hand in front of the spoon that she was trying to put in my child’s face lol. I said no. Usually I don’t say things and let my husband handle her which sometimes he doesn’t. She had also eaten from that ice cream bowl herself and she has cold sores. I also don’t want to give my 16 month old ice cream. 
My husband wants to leave our kid with his mom while we go to dinner and I’m like nope. This woman is either an idiot or trying to hurt my child. She doesn’t like me and I do not trust her. I will never leave my child with that woman. She had 3 kids, pretty sure don’t give a 1 year old a cherry with a pit in it or whole nuts is common sense.
Edit: my husband had told her that the baby can’t eat a whole cherry and can’t have nuts like that and that we don’t give her ice cream. She still tried giving it. He also said not to feed the baby with her spoon that she just ate off of. He’s told her not to feed the baby from her spoon many times yet she always tries.

Answer

If she doesn’t follow your rules when you’re THERE, I can only imagine what she’d be comfortable with behind your back.

Answer

She sounds like a huge idiot

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A cherry with the pit in? I could see being an idiot trying to feed baby ice cream with nuts… but a cherry with a pit in? That would make me suspicious.  That’s like one of the dumbest things you could try doing, I can’t believe anyone would just be “clueless” and not realize that would be a choking hazard

Answer

Never ever leave your child with her!!! No matter what’s her reasoning, she’s a threat to the child’s safety

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Sometimes grandparents feel entitled to give children what they want to give them and the whole “I gave it to my kids and they turned out fine” kind of thing. It’s infuriating. So I would assume she just doesn’t know better. BUT that being said, if you don’t trust her with your child, don’t leave her with them. You are the expert on your child. You AND your husband should both feel comfortable with who you have watching your children.

Answer

My MIL has given my 14 m old at the time whole grape and hot dogs.. in our case I feel like it’s from ignorance though. She had 2 children and 3 nieces/nephews that she helped closely in raising but I feel like they all just got very fortunate and never had any bad accidents happen. Not a single one of them excersises the caution we’re all taught we should. From letting infants sleep w a blanket, giving rice cereal to a newborn just so they’d sleep through the night 🤦🏻‍♀️, introducing solid foods at 2 months old.. I mean you name it, they’ve likely done it and have no remorse.

Answer

Why don't you nicely correct her by letting her know she can't have something and why along with why sometimes needs cut up?

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No way. Even if she truly was just clueless, she has no business trying to care for a baby on her own with no guidance. The lack of common sense is insane.

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No way. Look, even if you were so cautious as to say “hey, don’t give my kid—-(let’s say) juice.” If the woman gives them juice, then the kid doesn’t stay with her. Period. It’s your kid. Not Hers. What you say goes, always. That being said, those are huge choking risks and the cold sores thing is just freaking gross.

Answer

My MIL would do something that makes her just seem stupid but she actually does it to get a rise out of us. She does it for the drama. For example our just turned 3 year old was told not to go into the garden. The plants had just been planted, he didn’t understand where he could walk and not walk, there are metal fence posts that are just alittle shorter than he was. So many reasons. We had just had the conversation about it. My MIL and son were playing with a toy. My husband and I walked into the garage a few feet away and when we walk back out, my MIL is standing outside the garage looking at my husband like a older sibling tattling on a younger sibling and pointed to our son that she allowed to walk into the garden. As I approached, he stumbled and almost struck one of the metal posts with his head. She got her drama.
Perhaps it’s the same with your MIL. Bottomline, she doesn’t respect you, your husband or your child. I wouldn’t be ok with my child spending anytime with her again. Absolutely not without my supervision.

Is my MIL trying to hurt my child or is she an idiot?

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