34 weeks pregnant How did I end up here?

To say this pregnancy has been a roller coaster ride would be a major understatement. I am 32 years old I had my first daughter (15) at 17 and became a surrogate at 27 years old and gave birth to a baby girl (5) and two months later was pregnant with my own child at 28 years old another girl (4). All three pregnancies I was comfortable, prepared and excited but I’m sad to say this time around I don’t feel the same way and I’m finally having the boy I’ve always wanted.

My husband and I got married in 2020 after being together for 9 years only for our marriage to last less than a year. I found out he was cheating on me with his ex girlfriend and I was no longer interested in making things work. He has done this before with the same women I found out 6days after I gave birth to our 4 year old. Things I tolerated as a girlfriend I just couldn’t bring myself to tolerate as a wife. I told him I was done with the marriage in September of 2021.

We still lived together but I no longer was having sex with him and decided to make plans on moving on with my life. He started to track my phone calls and stopped going to work just to watch me and followed my car. He was aware that I was seeing someone else at this time but would try and interfere whenever he could. June 2022 my father got sick and was in a coma and the same day I came home from seeing him with tubes all down his throat my husband tells me he might have cancer. This completely upsets me because I’m dealing with my father and your bringing me a maybe! When my father woke up from the coma I told him about what was going on and how I wanted to get a divorce and he fully supported me. Come July I was getting ready to leave for the court house to file when I got the call the my father had passed away. My husband was there for me but was trying to make it about him and how my dad would have wanted us to stay together. I still went to file but only for a separation in July.

Time goes by and he has made zero life changes. Still not going to work and smoking weed all day. Bills are piling up and he has not said anything about the cancer or what the next steps are which brings me to the conclusion that this fool lied. When I get my dad’s life insurance I pay all the past due bills and enrolled myself into school. I was on disability so I still had an income and my father and I worked together so it made it hard to go back. I started to talk back to the other man again but it wasn’t serious. I was going to finish school and move to Vegas in March of 2023 to start my business and finally live my life as a single woman. I told my husband of my plans to move in September 2022 just so he could prepare himself to move since the place was in my name only. Come October he still had not responded to the separation and still had not returned back to work. I was concerned about him possibly losing his job that he’s held for over 17 years, he was not working out losing weight and smoking weed and playing the game all day. So I called his dad who was completely unaware of what was going on. I did not go into detail about what all got us here. I just told him that his son needs his support. He told me that his son was a grown man and would have to pull himself together and for us to not waste time with a separation and to just get a divorce. I fully agree but I couldn’t even get him to give me a separation and he said a divorce was out of the question so I settled for what was possible for me now.

The day we got married was the day he finally went with me to the courthouse to finish the paperwork for the separation. My stomach was in knots and I throw up everything I had ate that morning including my birth control. The next day I took two pills and waited a day before I had sex. The following month my period lasted almost three weeks and I was feed up with the birth control because I was having too many complications with bleeding. So I spoke with my doctor about having my tubes tied. November 19th I went in to sign the paperwork and had to wait for an official appointment. November 20th I was sick to my stomach and looked horrible. Everyone at school was worried about me. One girl asked if I was pregnant but I dismissed it because I was on birth control and just a had a 3 week period. But I still walked to the dollar store and got a test and took it in the school bathroom and it was positive right away. I felt sicker. I set an appointment to see my doctor right away. At my first appointment she said I was 9weeks pregnant. My life has been hell since.