It’s hard to keep going sometimes

After TTC for 9 years every failed cycle breaks my heart just that bit more, every little hope and every crushed dream that comes with AF. Every awful gynaecologist appointment every cyst, every test…. Every time i was told to wait, that I was young and it will happen, or the fact I don’t get told that anymore…. I’ve had positive home tests but it’s never got further than that, I feel so much joy for those around me that announce their pregnancy and yet I can’t help but cry a little inside and wonder when my time will come. I feel jealous and bitter inside, I am happy for them, I’m just so ready for it too be my turn.