Sister in law problems. Am i wrong?

Question

So long story short, we live abroad and my sister in law wants to use our apartment when we are away to come here and visit the area.
1. It is a very small apartment and I don’t want another woman staying in my house where I have my personal things especially if I am not at home. I was at her house only once to visit for 1 hour.
2. She never suggested visiting when we were here. Not even once did she suggest she wanted to come see us but she is more than willing to come and visit the country/area when we are not here. Personally, i find this insulting.
3. She never helped me with raising the baby.
4. She discussed it with my husband only and she purchased even plane tickets without waiting for a reply from me.
Am i in the wrong here? What do you all think?

Answer

Oh no, it would be a big fat no. 
There was a time when we lived in different states and my sister in law planned over a week stay with us, and my husband never came to me about it. I was pissed because we wernt close, and we lived in a 1bed 1bth. She purchased the tickets and it didn’t matter what I wanted. Needless to say, when she came she was her usual critical, controlling self and she was given the treatment I felt she deserved for that, along with my husband. She never did that again. 
I’m big on relationship over family and quite frankly my SIL sucks and is super selfish. And what your talking about sounds exactly like some stuff she would try to do. I would NEVER be comfortable with that. Especially if she has made no real effort for a relationship with me AND my kids.

Answer

I can see where you're coming from. I wouldn't be happy with anyone staying in my house when I'm not there especially someone i don't spend much time with.

Answer

1. She isn't obligated to visit you.. you visited her once for an hour. It's perfectly fine that she would want to visit without having to come see you all. I'm from Chicago, when I go visit I do not go to visit my family. 
2. She isn't obligated to come see your child or do anything for her. 
3. If you don't want her there say no, it isn't a matter of right and wrong. But I will say the reasoning other than your personal belongings being there sounds petty.

Answer

1) You're allowed to not feel like letting anyone into your home. That's okay.
2) Have you ever invited her? Not saying it wouldn't be nice with some initiative from her side, but perhaps she doesn't feel welcome? 
3) How the fuck is that even the tiniest bit relevant??
4) If your husband said she could come, then he is the problem. Not her. If I asked my brother something I would fully assume he answered for the both of them and not just himself.

Answer

Tell her to book a hotel too

Answer

In all honesty it just seems like you don’t like her  and as for # 2 and 3 no one is obligated to visit you, you had that baby not her so it’s your and your husbands responsibility to raise your baby not your sil. She asked her brother and not you because it’s very obvious you don’t like her, you visited her one time for an hour and then you want to know why she doesn’t visit you? Come on now be reasonable

Answer

Hey thanks for the reply. I totally get what you mean. Just curious, when you visit your family in Chicago you ask to stay at their hone  and go only when they are not there ?

Sister in law problems. Am i wrong?

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