So conflicted

Before I start, I know some of you will think I’m dumb and naive. 3 years ago, I had a baby with this guy who I barely knew. We were acquaintances and we slept together once and I got pregnant. He ended up in a relationship with a girl who has since cheated on him countless times. We have been in constant communication before the breakup due to me having full custody and placement of our son.

Anyway, we have been entertaining the idea of being in a relationship, however are not making anything official as he is still getting over the breakup and I have found joy in being single and independent after I got clean off of substances. We live 1.5 hours away from each other and he has been coming to see me and our son. He says he understands why I’m insecure and unsure because of the distance and he has hurt me in the past.

How do I move past the thoughts telling me this is wrong. Am I wrong for wanting my family together? Is this a waste of time? I can’t afford to get my heart broken and I refuse to be played again. And to be fair we were never in a relationship in the past. Just a one night stand. I also don’t want to confuse our son why his dad is around on and off.