How do you NOT yell at your kids?!

Question

I will ask my kids nicely to do some thing like 10 times and then I end up having to yell so they will actually listen. Any alternative ideas would be super helpful… but I have a feeling there’s no such solution lol. 🤦‍♀️😩

Answer

I wish I knew!! These damn kids don’t listen for shit!! And, even when I do lose my shit 🤬 they still don’t listen 😡😤🙄🤦🏽‍♀️

Answer

I take a deep breath and regulate myself. I have never yelled at my 7 year old son. I grew up with yelling and it caused some issues that therapy is fixing. We do gentle parenting. I get on his level. I make sure I have his attention. I kindly ask him to do something and he generally does it. You have to be regulated in order to keep your child regulated. Yelling won’t make things happen faster or better.

Answer

I honestly don't think it's possible with some kids 🤷

Answer

I try just asking once, more if he didn't seem to hear me and I wait a little bit as sometimes they are just finishing what they are doing first. Then I try to ask if there's something I can do to help them accomplish it, like put the potty seat on for him or something silly like, do you want to hop like a bunny or run like a fox to put your shoes on? My son is 3 though so I'm sure an older child's not gonna want to hop but you never know. Sometimes silliness is so unexpected and helps. But I'd be lying if I said I've never yelled lol.

Answer

Depends on age. My older kids I try to reason with them. I'm like, if you don't respond when people ask nicely and do respond when they yell, then you're just training them to yell. If you don't like yelling, then don't encourage it! If someone asks nicely, then reward that by responding nicely.

Answer

Same. I try to do this. After I’ve asked twice I say “you can do X yourself or I’m going to do X for you.” And count down, usually it gets her moving. If it doesn’t, then I do whatever it is.

Answer

First be sure that you have their full attention. I will get down to their level and ask. Depending on age i will show them how to do what im asking first then ask if they could do it just like me. Dont get me wrong on bad days i yell too, but i try to do these things and then with my oldest too i will sometimes offer to help with his chores too so that we can catch up on the day together and he will also then help with additional chores on top of his regular ones.

Answer

Highly recommend reading a book called 1 2 3 Magic. ￼

Answer

We’ve been giving one warning and then following through with a consequence right away if our daughter does whatever it is we asked her to stop doing again. Like throwing a toy, for example. If she throws it, we tell her not to do that because she could break the toy or hurt someone and that if she does it again, we will take the toy. She knows why we don’t want her to do and what will happen if she does. If she does it again, we take the toy immediately. If she throws a fit or needs a spot to regulate after a consequence, she has a “time out”. 
My husband and I aren’t always successful at not yelling, but since we started doing the one warning strategy, everyone knows what to expect. It’s helped up keep ourselves regulated and calmer when dealing with behavior that can drive us nuts. We can’t be perfect all the time but I also don’t want to be yelling at my kid all the time. Sometimes they make it damn difficult though 😅

Answer

How old are your kids? I use different methods for different ages. And yell occasionally lol

How do you NOT yell at your kids?!

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