Do I have months of this ahead? Years? 😭

I literally do not mind if I haven’t conceived this month as it’s our first trying. I’m not even expecting a BFP this cycle since we didn’t track strictly. But I am so so depressed and upset. I have felt so ill the last two days and had bad cramping like a period is coming today. Part of me is HOPING I just got my dates wrong and it is my period starting because if this is how my body reacts to ovulation every month, I am in for hell. Not meant to have my period for another 10 days and I know implantation happens roughly 6DPO so it’s possible I’m off by a day or two and that’s it but I genuinely do not think we were successful our very first time. I know people can start imagining symptoms when they’re hoping so much, but has anyone ever had crazy symptoms even though they’re convinced they’re NOT pregnant?

It’s like I wouldn’t mind being this miserable if it meant it ended up with a pregnancy but I am about 85% sure it’s not our month. Maybe I was spoiled by not having to deal with cycle symptoms for the 8 years I had the mirena coil.