My husband of 4 years has been dealing with anger and depression. His mental health status has severely declined to where he has been verbally and, on occasion, physically abusive. He also gets drunk and hides his drinking from me. He says he wants to die and how much he hates me. Yesterday, he was suppose to start counseling so that we can fix our marriage; however he ended up on an angry fit and made me cancel the appointment last minute (and so we had to pay 150 that we barely have for a no show). Yesterday, he hurt himself, said he hates me and verbally assaulted me. I was terrified and left to go to my in-laws. I was so afraid bc he seemed so angry all bc he didn't want to attend the virtual session. Today, I told him he has to leave so we can figure out our future steps. I told him things needed to change.

My question is, I have an almost 3 months old son. I'm terrified of being a single mom, but I'm having a hard time looking at my husband and marriage the same way I did before. I have no one I can talk to about this. I feel like my life is over. I am a Christian and trying so hard to do the right thing, but I feel so broken down.