Idk what to do anymore ..

unless I beg or he wins money from gambling . I did try to express my feelings but he says I’m jealous , I’m always sad never happy with what he does . Sex life i have to bed before for 2 weeks . He won’t give me oral at all . The 4 years being together I never once ask him to get me anything at all or my daughter anything because I depend on his parents and they always come thru . I got so tired of begging and asking and complaining and being called a cry baby and all because I can’t say my feelings without crying . That I just hold everything in to now I’m so dammm freakin numb I don’t have emotions for anything in life literally no emotions , he can tell I’m not there because I told him and he says “ do u want to breakup because I can tell u don’t love me “ and I’m here waiting so long for him to change we’re in my mind I’m out already.. I’m only 22 years old and I literally feel stuck and depression , maybe he made me get postpartum depression but idk anymore and tbh it felt so good to say it / type it and just cry while doing it . Because he got fried from his job and tbh we haven’t argued maybe it’s going back to normal idk but I’m just not there at all with feelings for anything at this point but I don’t want to feel guilty if I was to leave

Do u guys have any tips ?