Mums.and dad's advice.please

Mums and dads where one of you works full time the other part.time or stay at home. What's your opinion..need help and reassuring as I feel like I'm out of line and feel so low 😔

I feel even worse today. He's poorly with an infection and hasn't felt good for 11 days and I haven't looked after him, which shows I don't care about him because I haven't done anything off my own back to help him, he has allowed me to sleep after realising I'm exhausted after three weeks of broken sleep. He was up with he little one because I was exhausted due to little one being ill and not sleeping properly I've been up every night whilst he's had a full night sleep, I have also had it thrown in my that theres no other man or women that would allow their partner to work just 16 hours and take the p and the house isn't done properly or isn't tidy it's scummy, bare in mind he's been home and seen how clingy and grizzly little ones been so it's been difficult. He claims the house ends up a shit up two mins after it's done, why does it take four hours to do one room and it's still not spotless. Yet he doesn't see he's created crap I have to organise due him to building work. Going on about I should be making sure stuffs done when she's sleeping I said to him the three times she's had a good sleep one I went and had a sleep which he told me tom the other two times I did what I could in the two hour she was asleep he's been sat on his Xbox all day and tomorrow off to get two hours worth of tattooing done. I am in pain every day and he doesn't see it..I suffer with migraine and headaches everyday..I'm worn out and struggling yet I'm a selfish self centred b**ch because I told him I don't put my self first I'm last. Apparently that's not true he's last. Apparently getting lay ins and not having to help around the house is me not being selfless. Or the fact he has a lie in every Saturday. I have literally just cried my eyes out, our little one cries and it's your going to have to take her with your or go for a walk as she's not going to settle. He hasn't got off his backside to help me,usually when she's happy settled and has naps I can crack on,.on occasion I just ait and chill for half hour and now I'm not even going to do that because I'm wrong for it.im not even going to nap because I'm wrong for it. As I feel like such a crap mum and partner because my house isnt spotless because I haven't showed him I care, he's literally from the start of our relationship always been looked after and cared form I'm up to stupid hours and over time it's become less. He gets massages, sinus drain, facials, hand and arms done, legs, even wash his hair as he suffers with his scalp,y shoulders are in bits and burn, I have knots the size of boulders. I have a lower back that's crumpling and a bulging disc in my neck, I'm in pain all the time, yet I'm left here feeling again I'm out of order, I haven't done enough, I haven't done wha to should around the house and no other man or women would tolerate it and allow 16 hours a week work and the house etc not done properly. When he works full time. 😭😭😭💔💔