Is this depression?

I don’t know how to explain it. I wouldn’t say I’m depressed, but I’m numb. I’ve been depressed before around high school age after a traumatic childhood and I didn’t do well in high school I was depressed. I would cry almost everyday. I was suicidal. Shortly after high school after a lot of self help books and therapy I finally felt alive again and I loved life and learned to love myself. I swore I’d never be depressed again. That lasted a bunch of years. But this last year for me I have felt just numb. Nothing excites me anymore, I sleep too much, there’s nothing to look forward to. I used to LOVE Christmas time and decorating gave me a certain feeling inside. I set up the tree and put on Christmas music hoping I would get that feeling. I didn’t. I’m not depressed like I was in high school. I’m not suicidal but I don’t care enough to be. I don’t want to die and I don’t care to live. Every single day of this passed year I’ve just felt empty. Part of me is a little afraid that this might be the beginning of depression and I know I don’t want to go there again. Any advice how to pull myself out of this rut?