He won't get therapy or leave

I have 3yr old twins with an abusive man. We arent married but we own a home. When he gets angry or his feelings get hurt he throws things, damages the house, breaks my things, hides stuff and grabs me if I dont move or do what he wants. I always end up sore or with scatches on my arms the next day from fights and he just says "well if you got out of the room like I said, it wouldn't have happened. The nexr day he gives a weak apology sayinf he wont be distructive forever and proceeds to grab my butt or rub me like nothing happened. I told him that he needs to either go to therapy or leave. He says hes not going because everything is my fault for the words I say. He thinks I should leave but why would the girls and I leave the house to a single man to go live in an appointment. I'm lost on what I should do. Will a restaining order affect his employment? I just want him to go, any advice helps.