Family Drama

Anyone else dealing with family drama? Curious your thoughts on this craziness 👀

My older brother has an 18 month old and I have never met the child, I have expressed interest in meeting him but I have never been invited and I’m not just going to show up at their door. He lives with his long time gf in NYC and I live in Boston. There have been several times over the past year where I have caught up with my brother over the phone and he has told me they were in Boston visiting friends the previous weekend, etc. without letting me know. It’s kind of weird.

When they had the baby they didn’t tell me or the rest of the family until 2 months before the due date, and the gf is Jewish so they don’t do a shower as it’s bad luck. They texted me and my other brother basically a running tally of how much they had spent on us the previous 5 years and expected us to each spend over $1500 on the baby because that’s what we “owe” them. I’m sorry I didn’t realize we were keeping books and records like that for gifts??? I caved and spent about $500 on the baby, $1500 was a lot to just come up with in 2 months time and just felt so crazy! I sent them a newton baby mattress, some onesies, some books, and a baby bath tub.

Fast forward to the present day, I’m having a baby in March and my shower is in a few weeks, my brother’s gf RSVP “no” to the shower. My brother asked me for my mailing address. Today I received a box with all the items I had gifted them minus the newton mattress. The onesies, the books, and the tub. I really don’t mind used baby items but we already have a ton of clothes and a tub so it’s just stuff we don’t need, the stuff on our registry is what we really need. It’s just so weird to be given back the same exact stuff. Idk how to respond.