Child at 39... reasonable?

Question

Hey ladies! How are you?
So here are the facts:
I am 38, madly in love with my husband, we have 2 children living with us (1 and 5) and my husband has 2 children from a previous marriage who are 11 and 15 who live with their mother and who are with us every other weekend and half of the holidays.
Before Christmas we went to New York without the kids to spend a week together under the christmas lights and magic of NYC and we acted like newlyweds, making love almost everyday while enjoying visiting the city.
I stopped taking the pill in 2011 when I realized it wasn't doing any good to my body and as I'm lucky to have a very regular cycle, I know when I'm ovulating (approximatively) and we manage to be careful during these days...
My first was conceived in 2017 and my second in 2021. No pregnancies in between.
Here we are end of 2023 and during these holidays we really were acting like teenagers 🙈 and we didnt pay attention to my cycle.
We would be thrilled to have another baby even though it was not the plan, and I don't know if I'm pregnant yet cause I haven't took a test, just been feeling soooooooooo tired for no reason, and the only 2 times I felt that way, was right before I took the positive test for my two boys... I think I know my body, and something tells me that I am.
My period is due in 4 days, so I'm gonna wait to see what happens.
But I've been having some concerns and I need advice from women who went through this...
1. Am I too old for a 3rd baby ? I am so afraid that they could be sick or something and I feel like it might be playing with fire as I already have 2 healthy babies and 2 grown ups who are healthy too on my husband's side.
2. The youngest will be two in 2024. And I was waiting for this phase where he becomes more independant and I'm thinking about starting all over again with a baby who can't do nothing without you and it scares me.
3. I came back from maternity leave in January 2023, I can't begin to imagine what my boss would say if I say I am pregnant again (I know it shouldn't be a concern but we leave in reality, not in Disney world)
4. I am scaaaaaaaared !!!!!
Can anybody tell me positive things about having a child at 39 (I will be 39 at birth) ?
What about my questions ? any answers ?
Thanks alot
Please, I wanted to be honest here so don't judge, I'm so happy to have a place where I can share my deepest thought.

Answer

I had my second at 38 and my friend had twins at 41. Everyone healthy. Energy is not as good as before, that is reality. But no, you are not too old to have a baby.

Answer

I had my first son a month before my 35th. I turned 40 last month and am due in March with my 2nd son. I was told by a genetic counselor after my 20 week scan (which everything looked great) that my chances of having a child with Down syndrome was 2% and that would have been the same % even if I was 25. They actually have more data to go off of now that many women are having children later and the risks of things going wrong aren’t as great as they once thought.

Answer

I’m having my fourth and my husband and my first together at 38. My youngest will be 11 when this baby is born. We had all the easy blood genetic tests done and my 20 week scan was totally normal. No cause for concern! Although I am a decade older than last time, I haven’t felt much different from my previous pregnancies. We know we are older and it feels like starting over, but if you have a one year old the shock to your system shouldn’t be too bad. We make plans in life and then God laughs and says ‘hold my beer, watch this!’ That’s just my personal view, but it sounds like y’all will be good if you do turn out to be pregnant. Well wishes and happy new year!

Answer

Not too old. I’ll be 39 in Feb. people are still having kids in their 40’s.

Answer

My mother in law had my husband at 40, and he was a completely healthy baby and is now a very successful adult. My aunt had my cousin by surprise at 41, and she was a healthy baby and is now a lovely college student, very smart & excellent swimmer. My sister in law is currently pregnant and 38 (I think), and her pregnancy and baby are healthy to our knowledge, she’s due in March. Anecdotal, but the only babies by mothers around 40 that I personally know turned out healthy. Your fears are reasonable, but the odds are in your favor for a healthy baby if you are pregnant. Of course only you can decide what’s best for your family. Best of luck!

Answer

You already have a one year old. Having a new baby isn't that different from that. So no. You're not too old. 
But there are no guarantees what child you'll have. You never know what will happen as it grows, in birth or after birth. 
Do you want another baby? 
And do you want another baby with this new man?
And does he want another baby?

Child at 39... reasonable?

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