Am I wrong for calling out my in laws?

Question

My husband and I were recently seeing family and now his family is pissed at me. My husband has a cousin named Tristan and I have no issue with him. It's his wife Emily. Tristan and Emily have a 17 year old son named Blake and all Emily talks about is how having a son is so much better than having a daughter. How son's love their mothers more and how girls are drama and how she's her son's first love. The weird boy mom stuff. Me and my husband have two daughters who are 16 and 14. And she is always saying these things in front of everyone how she's so grateful to not have daughters. And how she's happy to be the only woman in both her husband and sons life and how amazing having a boy is. Here's the thing about Blake. Tristan is always calling my husband to vent because Blake has a drug problem and was also being placed in mental hospitals for suicidal thoughts/attempts and also going to rehab. He's been doing drugs since he was 14. When we were with my husband's family, Emily was going on and on again about how much she loves being a boy mom and how she could never have a daughter and how she believes nobody really wants daughters and finally I said "I don't know. If I had to choose between having my two girls who make A's and B's and have won awards in debate while playing sports than a son who's nothing but a depressed junkie." She turned red in the face and started screaming asking who I think I am. Blake left the room and went to sit in their car and my husband just stared at me. At home my husband lost it on me and asked how could I do that and said he doesn't tell me things so I can throw it back in his families face. I told him that Emily is always talking crap about having daughters and I'm tired of it. I just wanted to humble her that her son isn't perfect. My husband is mad at me, my in laws are mad at me. Even my own DAUGHTERS are embarrassed by what I did even though I was defending them. So now I'm wondering if I was wrong. I was just so over Emily.

Answer

Poor kid. You said some fucked up shit that should have never been said around someone with depression. He’s a kid who needs fucking therapy and kind people. You should not have said that with him around. Sure. He might be on drugs and depressed. And sure his mom might be saying shit she shouldn’t, but you shouldn’t have gotten down to her level. You should have been better than that and talked about it without everyone around. So yes, you are in the wrong. And you should apologize to the kid.

Answer

Honestly yea… kind of uncalled for. You were mad at emily, not her son. Dont bring the kids into it—be better

Answer

Honestly you and Emily suck. Your anger and frustrations are with her, not Blake. You owe Blake an apology. You could have defended your daughters without dragging an already troubled child down.

Answer

Yeah, youre the A-hole in this situation. Im willing to bet that Emily kept going on and on about how great her son and being a boy mom is to cover up how much he messes up. She probably didnt even know how much her husband has told yours. You werent defending your daughters, you were just tearing her down and throwing shots in front of everyone. Thats the type of conversation you have in private. What you SHOULD have done was either continue to shrug it off or just politely ask her to stop, while asking her in private what her problem is with your daughters.

Answer

Why would you call Blake out for that. Mental health is not something to throw shade on someone for. Your problem was with his mom, not him. Ya, I’d be made if my spouse did that about my nephew

Answer

Yes you’re wrong for calling them out in the middle of dinner. Stooping to her level because she was irritating you by saying something . A simple , “Can you not do this , there’s no reason to bash having a daughter” could’ve been said . Never bring the kids into it and make sure you apologize to Tristan & your husband . As it seems like he told you that in private and you ran your mouth. You and Emily are gross for behaving like children .

Answer

Yes. Definitely wrong. Really inappropriate on your part. 
Even if it annoys you there’s nothing wrong with her bragging about her son or saying she’s happy she has a son. Seems like it’s all from a place of insecurity anyway due to the very real struggles her family is having. 
You 1 overreacted to her silly “boy mom” comments that you could have easily ignored or replied back that well I love my daughters, the end. 
and 2 were incredibly insensitive to the fact a young man is struggling with addiction

Answer

Like everyone else , yes you went too far . And you are wrong . Even if you don’t like your husband cousins wife . You don’t drag kids into a gun fight . Even if she went on about being a boy mom . Show some support and compassion for this situation. The only thing you can do about this is to swallow your pride and apologize to everyone. Let this be a lesson in learning how to handle things without it getting out of hand .

Answer

You just tore Blake apart. That poor kid. He’s already struggling and you treated him like garbage in front of everyone. You weren’t defending your daughters at all. That’s just an excuse. You were pissed off so you wanted to hurt someone else. And you succeeded. I see why everyone is mad at you. Everyone deserves an apology from you. Even Emily. You had no right to talk about her son like that.

Answer

Yeah you wrong. No way should of said that about him his a CHILD!!! He needs help love and support not someone calling him a depressed junkie that’s a horrible thing to say. You could of said yeah my daughters are great too but not dragged that poor boy down.

Am I wrong for calling out my in laws?

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