condescending

Advice for feeling shut down by husband whenever I bring something up he disagrees with?

I often feel like my opinion is seen by him as that of a child’s. He doesn’t have full conversations with me, often blaming the fact that he’s tired from work or the kids or that he has other more important things he’s thinking of or that I brought it up before he had a chance to fully think about it (although if its not related to work, he usually doesn’t give it any thought anyway).

Tonight our daughter woke up screaming in a different way than usual and while I was getting the baby back down, he thinks she may have been experiencing a seizure (body rigid, eyes rolled back). Any suggestion I had was quickly dismissed with an annoyed or condescending tone. Any time I said anything he interrupted me to tell me to stay calm, although I was fully calm. If I offer to take care of her (hold her, help her get back to sleep), he takes over. He may have been super worried for her which I understand, but truly feeling like he thinks I can’t care for our children and feeling like I don’t have a single competent thought is getting really hard on me. And not just in this situation (this one is a bit extreme with the concern of a seizure), but most days it is this way.

I dont want to get into an argument that feels like its all in my head, and the more I think about that the more I realize how unhealthy the cycle is which is scary and heartbreaking