Open marriage

This is an embarressing post for me so ill keep it anon 😂

My husband travels often for work and has told me from the beginning that last relationships were open relationships.

Now mind you- my husband is very open and WISHES i would have sex with other men.

Now here is the kicker- im the overly jealous type but i try to think in my head i would rather “share” him then lose him.

I also know how i am and that would include a wall on my end going up to block the hurt. I told him we can do it but i dont want to know details.

He has cheated once so apart of me is like this can avoid the pain and ill just “know”

Has anyone been through this situation or if you have an open relwtionship how do you get passed the jealousy