Would you feel hurt if your daughter didn't let you know she was back home?

I have two sons and one daughter and me and my daughter never really saw eye to eye. I tried so hard to bond with her but she was never really into anything I tried. I'm a very feminine women. Before me and her dad divorced, I was a sahm and did all the cook and the cleaning. I was just trying to prepare her for a real world and how to be a good wife and mother but she never seemed interested in any of that. I tried constantly to teach her to do makeup and she always said it was stupid. I wanted to take a mother daughter cooking class with her but she wasn't into that. I tried to dress her up. Especially for prom but she went to prom in jeans instead of a dress. She was into hunting and camping and stuff like that. Idk where she got that from because while she had two brothers, they're much younger than her. Her dad eventually started taking her hunting when she turned 16 because she really wanted to go hunting. She told me most of her life she doesn't want children and I just figured she would change her mind when she was older. We love each other but have never really gotten a chance to bond. She joined the military and was in boot camp for the marines. I wasn't supportive because she's 25 and I in visioned her married with children by now and growing out of her tomboy face but also the thought of any of my children joining the military terrifies me. I'm just scared something will happen to them but I had no idea she was back in town. I actually found out on my kids step mom's Facebook because they were out to eat with her and she was in uniform. I know we don't usually see eye to eye but I love her so much and it hurts that she wouldn't tell me she was back in town. Even more that she would hang out with her dad and stepmom first without so much as a text saying hi. Should I reach out first or just wait?