Is it really normal?

Question

Looking for some honest advice! 
About 3/4 months ago I started seeing this guy. He got divorced last year because his wife left him to be in a poly relationship. He didn’t want to separate but she just left one day. I left my ex of 10 years about a year ago too because he was a very unhealthy person. We both have our own kids. We both are connected to our ex’s for the rest of our lives basically 🤣 however, the way him and his ex are weirds me out and I’m not sure if I’m being stupid for feeling this way or if I’m just making up red flags brocade I’m not use to a healthy relationship. They talk quite a bit outside of it being about the kids, if she doesn’t want to go to her house after she gets the kids from daycare she will go to his house (the one they had together before the divorce) and sit there and hangout with the kids until he gets home and leaves, if you look at both of their social media accounts it completely looks like their still together… I mean wedding photos, EVERYTHING, and when he talks about him moving on with me or anyone sometimes he says “I hope she knows what she lost and etc etc etc”. The other day I guess when she dropped the kids off she hung out at the house for awhile to hangout with the kids more. 
I’m the COMPLETE opposite, you look at my social media there’s no way you would think my ex and I were together for 10 years, we only talk when we need to about our daughter, and when it comes to him moving on I always say I truly hope he finds someone that makes him happy and he wants to treat them better than he treated me. We do some activities together with our daughter to show her that we’re civil so we can make it as easy as possible for her but that’s once every couple of months. 
I guess I just don’t know if I’m overreacting about nothing and the way they are is normal? Idk if I’m just unhealthy or what but if I’m in the wrong then I can absolutely accept that. But I’m interested in other opinions

Answer

I think it’s a good thing they have a good relationship but honestly with the comments he made sounds like he might not be completely over her

Answer

It doesn’t sound like they had a tumultuous relationship but their wants and needs didn’t align and that was significant enough reason (rightfully so if that wasn’t something he was open too) that they decided to separate but still have a level of love and respect for each other as parents of the child they share in common, and as well as someone they spent years building a life with. And that is pretty unconventional to me, I don’t think I know of anyone who has that kind of relationship with an ex, let alone the parent of their child, sadly. 
I think it’s commendable that your SO has such a great relationship with the mother of his child. I totally understand your skepticism though. The way you’re feeling about this situation is absolutely valid. You don’t have that kind of relationship with your ex, and maybe that’s the way you’d prefer it, and that’s fair — maybe he was a total dbag and you want as little interaction with him as humanly possible, and if that’s the case, ofc you’re going to grapple with why your husband (?) doesn’t feel the same way towards his ex. I mean she left him to be in a relationship with other people. I think most of us would think it’s weird that our partner be able to forgive and actually be friends with someone who could do that to them, but that’s not to say that people that desire to or do live a polyamorous lifestyle aren’t good people. He was able to accept and move pass it, likely solely for the sake of his child(ren), otherwise he’d have maybe tried to make the relationship work. Maybe she would have. But they didn’t. So hopefully this is a different perspective that maybe you hadn’t considered and you can find comfort in thinking of it that way but again, your feelings are valid. My opinion is purely speculation, and if this is something that is eating away at you, talk to your SO about it. 
Maybe you need reassurance, maybe you want them to have a little less contact, maybe you just need understanding. Whatever the case, if he’s a good guy, he’ll understand where you’re coming from and try to make you feel more secure and more comfortable!

Answer

every one goes through the process of separating differently. it sounds like they ended things amicably. she wanted more, he didn’t but they’re still friends. my parents were together for over 20 years and got divorced a few years ago and they’re still friendly on occasion so everyone is different. if you feel uncomfortable by it, talk to him about it

Is it really normal?

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products