My husband and I argue everytime I tell him my feelings

Is this normal? I want to know if it’s me and I’m the problem or if he isn’t being nice? He makes comments when he comes downstairs I was packing my baby boys diaper bag for the day out and had to refill it with diapers clothes and pack up lunches. I have a 2 year old and 9 month old. It took me 10 mins and he came downstairs and was annoyed I hadn’t unloaded the dishwasher yet. He said I take a long time to do things. I used to hang our wet clothes on a clothing rack and last year he got mad when clothes stayed hanging for two days. I am a Sahm . We have had issues since first son born. He emotionally cheated on me. I tell him it’s hurtful how he talks to me and that I do so much I cook I clean i take care of our babies. He watched hockey a whole week every night as kids went down to sleep and we didn’t connect or speak as husband and wife at all and I told him nicely I wanted to connect because I felt disconnected and he got mad. He got annoyed I set up a therapy appt with my pastor who is a licensed family and marriage therapist also and wanted to know why.

Am I the problem?? I have been trying to heal from the betrayal and he is just not compassionate and thinks I blow it out of proportion but I feel like he micromanages and maybe is resentful of me and he says things like maybe this isn’t gonna work idk what else to do. Maybe you’ll be happier without me I can’t say or do anything right …