Would it be better to have my in-laws or a babysitter watch my 2 year old while I’m in the hospital for baby #2?

I’m due in September so this is a ways out, but I want to make sure my son (22 months) is comfortable with whoever will be watching him while I’m in the hospital having the baby. The plan was my in-laws but recently I’ve noticed some concerning stuff from my FIL, and my MIL does nothing to stop it, so I’m not sure if I’ll be ok leaving my son with them. I had PPD and anxiety a lot of which was made worse by them but I couldn’t figure out if I was making the stuff up in my head. If all goes well it would be for 2-3 days.

Option 1- my in laws. My son knows and is comfortable with them, they’ve watched him overnight once and we’ve stayed with them overnight multiple times so they know his routine. They seem to really love him and they wouldn’t do anything to hurt him or me intentionally. But.. my concern is that they have some typical out of date grandparent beliefs. For example, we told them not to feed him grapes and they agreed, but then we found out they fed him a bunch of grape tomatoes. When we told them they can’t feed that to him without cutting it up, MIL argued with us and said well he didn’t choke so what’s the problem. Ultimately she agreed not to give them to him again but she was pissy about it. FIL also gave him black caffeinated tea with sugar and cake while we never give him sugar and definitely don’t give him caffeine. It’s stuff like that, that I wouldn’t even think to tell them not to do. If they watch him, I’d plan to meal prep all of his meals and snacks, which is a lot of work and I’m not totally sure I could do it (what if I go into labor early and don’t have time) but it’s my plan for now. I can freeze individual meals ahead of time and send a grocery order of berries, milk, toddler ready snacks etc. if I have to leave for the hospital urgently.

The other concern is my FIL never really watched my husband as a baby and thinks my son is older/tougher than he is, and doesn’t stop when I would stop when they’re roughhousing. For example, him and MIL were playing with my son in a kiddie pool. It was cold water but my son was happy to stand and play. I saw my FIL pick up my son and try to make him sit in the water and he started to cry both times and my husband had to run over to them and tell him to stop. My MIL was with FIL and said nothing. Another example is we dress LO standing instead of laying down now bc he’s old enough and doesn’t like to or need to lay down for changes. My FIL tried twice to lay my son down and he was confused and started to cry and my husband was telling his dad to stop the whole time. It was to the point that at one point he was holding my son down with his whole body weight. He finally stopped but it was really uncomfortable to see. Especially how he ignores my husbands first requests for him to stop. He has an attitude like he knows best and we shouldn’t dare tell him otherwise. Lastly when they feed him we ask them to cut the food up but they don’t. FIL gave him a big piece of steak and my son was trying to spit it out and my husband told my MIL to put the plate by his mouth so he could spit it out, instead she tried to give him water to wash it down his throat. I think that’s the worst thing you could do? And again was pissy when we told her to stop. She also smacks his back when he’s coughing, something that you’re not supposed to do anymore bc it can lodge the food in the throat. They don’t know about water safety, never took a CPR class (they refuse) and show him tv against my wishes. Like right in front of me and I have to tell them to stop.

BUT all that said, is that just normal grandparent stuff? How much of that is normal and how much is my anxiety?

Option 2 is a babysitter who will do overnights. However she’s not available Monday or Friday, so if I’m in the hospital one of those days we’d either need my in laws to briefly babysit, I can ask my dad’s partner but she’d have to take off work probably, or my husband can be home as long as I’ve already had the baby. We met the babysitter only once so far but if we go this route then I’d have weekly babysitting appointments and maybe even an overnight in preparation. I just don’t need babysitting help right now so it’d be solely to prepare my son for the overnights in September. We have a full guest room with bathroom so it would be comfortable for everyone. She has training, great references and seems like a great babysitter. I’m not concerned about the expense, we’d budget it in. But, the concern here is that she is still a stranger and in today’s world I would rather my son be with family. The idea of an unrelated person putting my son to bed, changing his diapers, etc., is not something I’m comfortable with right now, but I guess over time if she babysits for us regularly I’d probably get over that.

I considered having my in laws here and the babysitter coming a few hours/day, but I feel like that’s just offensive to my in laws. The hospital is very close to my house if it helps.