My abusive father is now being mean to my toddler

Let me preface this by saying i’m a 30-year-old pregnant woman and ever since I could remember my father has always been mean to me and mentally abusive. Always reminding me I’ll never have anything telling me that I’m a loser and I’ll never amount to anything. Any chance he could call me a vulgar name or tell Me I’m lazy he would. I grew up seeing him threaten to hit my mom in the face and always calling her crazy. (They’re still together.)

I had to move back home because my spouse and I did not work out. I do have to give it to him, that he’s always let me stay here when I’m in times of need. But it comes with a price. A taxing emotional price. He’s a 52 yr old overweight heavyset man that just started his weight loss journey. If he doesn’t lose weight or doesn’t eat in the correct amount of time he gets angry and very mean.

I have a two-year-old daughter. She is very much in her toddler stage. The typical toddler laughing, playing, running, and occasional screaming. He gets very upset when he hears a peep out of her as often times telling her to be quiet. I do understand that this is his space and he wants things a certain way. Her laughing and screaming doesn’t bother me. Even if I reprimand her and tell her to use her inside voice or keep it down he has to follow up with something right after. He often times calls her difficult child to her face. when he’s not being mean to her he’s constantly drilling into her head that he loves her and asking her if she loves him. 

He bullied his sister so much when she was younger that she actually had to get on medication. I’m proud of myself that I have not had to take any extra steps to help me stay sane.

Today was kind of my breaking point with him. I did not scream I did not yell I kept my cool which I’m very proud of myself. he often tells my daughter how she’s a difficult child. Like I mentioned before. Came out of his office and told me that I’m a bad parent and she’s misbehaving today.

I calmly responded with I’m trying to handle it I don’t think you need to add that to the mix because she’s listening and she understands you. She’s a very intelligent two.5 year old that can have conversations. I also explained to him that I would appreciate if he didn’t go right behind me correcting (which he does all the time) her so she could take me more serious as her mom. Whenever they’re interacting and he is correcting her I never say anything because it’s their interaction.

He started to call me crazy and nuts and telling my daughter that I am sick in the head. I really don’t think she understands this but to me it’s hurtful. I try to coexist peacefully by giving him his space and keeping us in our room as much as possible. I’ve been trying to find jobs from working from home but I haven’t landed on anything.

I’m so stuck and now my daughter is going through the same cycle as me not even with her own father but with mine. I feel guilty. When I buy food for the house (food stamps) he eats it and doesn’t even say thank you but when I eat the food he buys I have to kneel and kiss his feet or he tells me I’m an ungrateful B word.

I posted on here before and many people tell me to go to a shelter. I can’t see myself pregnant with a toddler at a shelter around strangers. Does anyone have any ideas for jobs that can be worked from home? Or way that I can make money to save up? I’m six months pregnant with my second child (it’s the same father as my daughter).

I guess it doesn’t really matter but my father constantly calls me a whore. I’m just really at my breaking point everyone. I cried daily and feels so sorry for my child that I put her in this situation. Ever been so low that all you think about is waking up hiding and going to sleep? That’s me right now.