Mourning?

I’m 4 months PP with my third baby and I wanted to see if this was something other mothers experience or if it’s just me.. has anyone felt like they were mourning they’re pregnancy journey and hospital experience? I have two older girls and just had our baby boy and even though my last pregnancy was hard there’s a part of me that feels like it’s grieving that time with the thought that I may never get to experience carrying another child again. Being that my last time was hard I feel like I didn’t take it in as much and enjoy it as much as I should have and I was also induced 3 weeks early (blood pressure issues) so I feel like the end of it was taken from me. Maybe it’s just my emotions but it’s been a hard thing for me lately 😭