I am a stay at home mom of two baby boys. My husband says he doesn’t resent me but his words and actions say different. He and I marriage changed for the not so better after babies unfortunately. A lot of his childhood trauma came out. He won’t go to therapy says waste of money and time . We tried marriage therapy didn’t help him to be nicer to me…. He said to me he thinks that maybe if I work it would help our marriage. I asked for what? Financially? He said No financial we are fine with just his income. He said for me to get out of house and kids go to daycare. I said so how will that help? I do get out of house with the boys? He said he just was thinking maybe. I asked if he resents me he said no I said it seems like you do. Do you not like I am with them? He said “it’s fine” not that he is so happy they get to be with me. I said since we are able to I want to be the one to raise boys not put them in daycare and have someone else watch them. He says we would still raise them. . . He has also said during an argument randomly before “I’m just the asshole who pays all the bills” out of nowhere. His mother has made comments in past about me being stay at home. She is a miserable bitter woman who is a nag and was a single mom growing up not affectionate and would beat my husband when he was little.

My husband was never this way with me before babies. Idk what to do anymore. Maybe we need space and he needs to figure out if this is what he wants. My sister in law his twin’s wife said he can come there to stay for a bit to figure out what he wants because he has been verbally abusive to me lately and not nice I don’t feel the love . He has got in my face when I gently tell him my feelings and yells to stfu also when I am talking to him calmly about him hurting me he says to get out of his face … help: I’m so sad I just want this to work and for him to be how he was and be a family unit and our boys to be like the man he was not like this . He used to be so loving and romantic dance with me in kitchen hold hands now nothing.

He says he loves me and wants to be with me but I just feel like he has now turned into his mother. He was never like this before babies. Idk what to do.