Yesterday I was talking to my friends with benefits. He said he’s been struggling with his sex drive lately. I asked him if we could try last night. He said maybe, depends on how he feels after his night after at work but that at the moment, he didn’t think he’d be in the mood. I asked him if there was something I could do to help him get in the mood and he randomly started mentioning how I could just fuck someone else and we could be done (he wanted us to be only fucking each other 🤷🏼‍♀️) and started to talk about how he thinks I “have feelings and get fixated on him”, “am really attached and want him all the time”, how he thinks it’s weird that some of my clothes are a show he likes, and how I “force him” to do things with me. I explained that I just had a small crush on him because I thought he was cute and the only thing I’ve asked him to do’ all summer was a fair and that was because he said he’d want to go when I said I was going. But he said no so I let it go. After I explained myself I ended with “I was just trying to fuck, not go on a date” and he went from ending it to saying “yeah we probably can”. (And ended up wanting to). Not to mention this is the same guy who gets upset I don’t talk to him all day. When I go to his house to fuck, he wants to sit and watch TV and talk and at one point told me that if I can’t do that, we’d be done. If I’m on my phone, he’ll (playfully) push it away or ask who im texting and tries to look. He says he’s uncomfortable about basically any of the friendships I’ve mentioned to him. If I mention friends, he asks who they are, where I met them, why I’m talking to them, etc. Or he’ll accuse me of “acting weird” with them.

I talked to my mom and was telling her how I felt confused by him. She said she thinks he didn’t *really* want to end it, he just to upset me and wanted me to fight for him to stay and when I didn’t, he just circled back around, worried I’d have sex with someone else. And that in the meantime, reaffirming my crush on him boosts his ego.