Early July I tested positive, I immediately made an appointment and I also bought prenatals. The feeling was shocking because tmi as much unprotected sex I had with people I was committed too I never gotten pregnant. Honestly thought at that point something was wrong.

Fast forward, my partner now seems as if this pregnancy is like ruining his life he didn’t say that but he is on board with me getting an abortion. Honestly finding out at 6 weeks and his reaction I should’ve went and did it. But I can’t bring myself to do it I don’t have the mental strength too. Now I’m almost 13 weeks and I finally told my mother the news and she told me older sister to persuade me into an abortion. Btw I’m 22 turning 23 in December. My sister had about 3 abortions and my mother had her in high school and me around this age I believe. It hurts because I feel like I have no support… my partner says it’s not just about his freedom but he’s not mentally prepared, saying he hasn’t lived his life or found a career he even likes. I keep bringing up how he should’ve thought about all that after high school.. he didn’t go to college. I’m in college finishing up my last yr. Due in March and that’s two months away from graduation. I plan to finish up this semester easily fingers crossed. Take a winter class and go fully online for one class and do the rest in the summer as I can still walk and finish the classes summer time.

I feel like my mother is more so concerned about her image rather than my best interest. My sister claims I’m selfish for telling her as they helped me move back in for school and not deal with their emotions. But selfish ? When I get the abortion that’s when everyone else is happy and the roles are reversed and I will be crying and depressed and grieving. I look up videos but I just can’t my heart won’t let me. I had to think am I being selfish ? I’m a making a mistake as my partner says I am, telling me this won’t end well & that I’m making a “rash” decision and not thinking clearly. I understand it’s unexpected but my child doesn’t deserve to be literally picked apart because I decided to lay down and be “grown”

I do believe that god makes no mistakes and my partner thinks I’m making this a thing about faith. But I truly believe maybe it is too soon, maybe he is the wrong partner due to his reaction n still convincing me to abort the baby. It’s like when I get upset and tell him I’ll do it he’s relaxed and happy saying he will go with me to support, we can get food after and he’ll cuddle me. WHAT ???? why would I even wanna eat , why would I even want to be around you? It’s delusion. I try to get him to understand my point of view. Life is hard without a baby. I believe this baby is a blessing. But he says he’ll be there as a father but it hurts knowing this isn’t what he wants.

Am I making the wrong decision?

Is it too soon ? Given we don’t have a place yet either.. I feel for a year it might be hard but it won’t be like that forever. And regarding him wanting a career it’s like okay? Why are we just now thinking of that ? … we graduated in 2020 it’s about to be 2025. That should been established! He saying if we really care for each other we need to make the right decision but if he knew what love was it’s not forcing me to get an abortion basically.. you would just accept what’s happening. And I do take his side in but it’s like that’s the consequence of having sex .. -and it’s odd because it’s like you want me to get an abortion but still having UNPROTECTED sex with me while pregnant.

He supposedly had a convo with his brother and had a change view and said we can get to work to be a family and he wants to see me and baby healthy. I just don’t understand the switch up. One day it’s I’m just being supportive of your decision, too that’s his decision and he’s sticking by it.

I really don’t know what to do…. And I’m getting stressed out by both him and my mom because they want a decision. I make one I’m the one day and everyone else is happy, I do it and I will isolate myself and I would never forgive them. I need help….