What should I do

Question

Hey ladies I hope you can give me some advice on this topic ….  
My boyfriend is a recovering addict.  He’s been sober for almost 5 years now. I didn’t know him when he was in active addiction. We started dating after he was clean. 
My mom and family love him. He’s a great guy and treats me well. But I haven’t told them that he’s in recovery. 
I think my mom is starting to suspect something tho because she has asked me 5 different times “why doesn’t he drink?”  
I am nervous to tell her because her and my family judge and look down on people that have drug problems. So I’m scared that she’ll judge him for his past and not like him anymore. 
It won’t change my opinion of him but I don’t want to deal with that. And I’m worried that if she acts like that, that my boyfriend won’t want to be with me because my family doesn’t like him. 
There is a chance that she won’t care. 
I don’t know what to do. I’d like to just not tell them, but she won’t stop asking why he doesn’t drink and if she googled she could probably find his DUI he had in the past.  
Has anyone else dealt with something similar?? 
What should I do??

Answer

It’s none of your family’s business. I’d simply tell her to stop asking and that your man just doesn’t like to drink as it’s his personal preference. I don’t get why your mom can’t respect that. You need to shut her down. No need to tell her his past at all.

Answer

I mean. They aren’t entitled to know his background unless it makes him a danger to them/you - which it doesn’t sound like it does. So you don’t HAVE to tell them

Answer

It’s his past and not their business. Choosing not to drink alcohol is a huge trend right now. Just tell them because he doesn’t want to and it’s not their business. Not everyone likes it, regardless of how frequently they may be around other people drinking.

Answer

I wouldn’t say anything about his personal journey but I would just say that he has chosen to stay away from alcohol because he doesn’t like who he becomes when he drinks it. Or you can say that he just doesn’t like it. And it’s a personal choice of his. No one needs to know unless he is ready to share that piece of information with others, I would also give him a heads up that your family is asking and what he would like you to tell them?

Answer

You can’t be responsible for anyone else’s actions/reactions. If your family are judgmental that’s on them and you will need to decide how you want to handle that. Talk to your bf about your concerns and ask him how he wants to handle this question. Stop putting yourself in the middle and trying to shield your bf from the comments he probably  will have to deal with these questions for the rest of his life.

Answer

It’s no one’s business. No is a full sentence no matter who says it and for what reason. 
Anyone pushing or wondering why others don’t drink may want to check their own drinking habits.

Answer

It’s not their business. He chooses not to drink because he doesn’t want to drink. End of story. Tell her to mind her own damn business.

Answer

Be honest and tell her. It’s not a dealbreaker. Consider asking why she must really know why he doesn’t drink. It may be defective upon her. Is she an alcoholic? 
Yes, there are reasons why your guy should not drink and congratulations to him for being sober for 5 years. His DUI will follow him for life. It’s unfortunate that it happened and we cannot change the past. He’s gone through the process of getting his life together. Give him the respect he deserves for the progress he’s made even though you guys didn’t begin your relationship until after he turned his life around.

What should I do

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