I like him but have always questioned if he was interested in me. He expressed he didn’t want to date women with children bc he been there and in breakups it was hard on both sides, yet we kept talking and being intimate. Knowing he may not want a relationship I expressed myself on occasion on how I felt and its clear I like him but would back off when he wasn’t as responsive to me being open. Well as I was wanting to find out clarity between us once again I find that I am pregnant and told him that instead. Both shocked and not needing it at the moment I know he was going through many racing thoughts as was I. He has been there the whole time through everything but still I had questions about US.

I don’t need us to be an item, but I need reassurance and not get my heart in it(which I already have being that he had helped me at one of the worst times of my life and has seen me in such a low state). Which is why I was needing some feedback prior to baby… well from 9 weeks to now 6 months I find out that before the baby, when we were still messing around and hanging out… me being hopeful waiting for answers, he was actually giving them to someone else who was understandably hurt when he told her about the baby, it seemed as though he wanted to move forward but had kinks to work out. She basically blew up on him.

I get that I may not be his choice, I am just hurt I couldn’t get the clarity. He says he didn’t know where we were as I would go distant, and I did… I felt him pulling away and so I backed off did my own thing but all the while still had feelings and wanted clarity from him, I was hurt by the lack of expression or effort and saw it as rejection. I expressed my hurt and he is basically claiming how I went distant, but I know thats not the case bc I expressed my vulnerability to him more than once…clear and uncomfortably.

I am letting him know now that I realize what it was and understand more of the situation now. I was hoping if there was any relationship at all it wont be bc of the baby but bc its actually something there. Finding out what I know I am kinda at an emotional rollercoaster and I don’t know how smart of me it is to express that to him.

I am hurt but also feel sorta silly and like a little girl in a fantasy world. Like I was just a back burner option. I have now met his family and they are great and very supportive.

Anyways I feel I should just get over it. I will be here to coparent as unemotionally as possible. Any advice, similar situations stories opinions. Should I say anymore about it to him expressing my hurt or just leave it where its at? I know this is just momentary, but I am really in my head rn