This is burning a hole in my mind…

I asked my husband a question and he was stonewalling me. I should’ve just walked away, I didn’t. I asked him the same question again and he said he was about to call the police. I was afraid, I didn’t want my children to see the police come and take me away. I don’t think beyond being taken away and I panicked and took his cellphone. That didn’t go well, he snapped and he got up and destroyed 40% of our belongings in the house. I understand that I was completely in the wrong for taking his property and I do take full accountability for how things turned out in the end. I do also understand that there’s a chance that the police wouldn’t have arrested me and taken me to jail for simply asking him a question. That being said, when we were younger we I got an apartment for us as I made more money that he did at the time. I wasn’t present to sign the lease as I had to work and my husband was off work. The landlord was supposed to meet me later that day but he never got around to it and told my husband (then boyfriend) that it was fine because my name and information was on the application. Well, my husband called the police on me back then and when they showed up they asked us if we both signed the lease and my husband told them that I didn’t and they would tell me to pack a bag and escort me to my car to leave. He did that very often and it caused a lot of trauma for me. Just for clarification, I have never been abusive to my husband aside from taking his phone this one time. The times the police were called on me and I was escorted out of the home it was because I would be questioning my humans and he hated it so he would call them and say I was harassing him or we were having a disagreement.

I am sorry for taking his phone and I’m sorry for what it caused. I’m sorry that my children were around to see that and I wish I wouldn’t have caused this situation. He isn’t speaking to me right now and I really do wish he’d allow me to genuinely apologize but he doesn’t want to hear anything I have to say.

Updated to add that we now own a home, my name is on the mortgage. He still has the power as I don’t work and he does, he has threatened to not pay the mortgage when angry at me so I’m sure that if I don’t comply and leave when he asks that he’ll just stop paying the mortgage and we will lose the home as I can’t pay. He also is stubborn enough to let that happen so I don’t think the police would’ve arrested me but I do believe he would’ve asked me to leave and I would’ve definitely complied because he has all of the power pertaining to the house.

To answer Lydia: We were having a conversation about a disagreement that we’d just had and I wanted to establish a boundary as he made a low blow. I asked him if he saw a problem with what he said and he answered no. I asked how do you not see a problem with bringing up personal trauma in an argument and he answered that he didn’t see a problem but he would call the police. I didn’t repeatedly ask him over and over, I wanted to establish a boundary and maybe I could’ve done it a better way but I didn’t repeatedly ask him. Also, I don’t negate the fact that maybe I am annoying to my husband and other people. It wasn’t my intention to be annoying, I was hurt and just wanting to establish a healthy boundary.

To everyone else, I did attempt to leave. I had my belongings packed up and money saved up from babysitting for our neighbors (over $10,000). I had a plan to move in with my dad until I could get back on my feet. My husband begged me to stay and said it would be better, he treated me better. I trusted him and showed him the money I saved which we used for the house and our children. Shortly after the money was gone he reverted back to his old ways.