Multiple bds

I am 28 and I have 2 children by two different men. My first, my son, I was with his dad for 5 years and we had him year 3. He passed away unexpectedly shortly after birth.

I am currently pregnant with my little girl, 6 months. I got pregnant the first month after dating this man. The relationship started off rocky as he had been out of prison a year and was cheating with a girl who ended up telling me she was pregnant too. She ended up getting an abortion but I really wanted to keep my baby because I felt like this was my rainbow.

I found a Polaroid camera in his car a few weeks ago and my curiosity got the best of me. I had to get them developed and that took about 2 weeks. I just picked them up and of course it’s pictures of him and another woman in there who he told me “not to worry” about.

I am more mad at myself because I should’ve known better but I am also disappointed in myself because I feel like I had two opportunities to create families and I gave both of my children broken homes. I feel undesirable, like I am spoiled goods now because no one will ever want me with two babydaddies. Although my main concern is getting my baby girl here in three short months, I can’t help but to think about the future.

Idk I feel like I just needed to vent but words of encouragement or even women who’ve been in the same situation before sharing their stories would help greatly. Thanks in advance 🤍