Next on the List: How to fix my saggy tits!!

Feels like theyve been saggy all my life, just waving about say good day to everyone i pass, trying to tie my own shoelaces!

This is where this will end!

I require some urgent tips to get them perky again otherwise i am going to have to resort to my last 2 solutions:

1. Knit them bastards to my chest so they will stay there

2. Cut the bloody things off and get implants

Please contact me ASAP as this is going to be rather painful.

Kind regards,

Your honey,

Deary me,

Susan

xxxxx