Weaponized incompetence ?

Question

Do you have to keep reminding your husband that finish doing the laundry or to finish doing the dishes? It seems as if whenever he puts a load in, he says that he forgets and would play his video game for hours and not proceed to finish either on the same day. I got frustrated (I even told him that it was frustrating me and that I do not want to have an argument about this and to please set a timer on her phone to remind him to switch out the load , etc) but he still doesn’t do it and then I end up blowing up and we get in a huge argument and I always end up telling him that in miserable of how incompetent he is and for him to leave (very toxic) I’m the only one working BTW . I’m the only one working (I work 12 hours shifts 5-6 times a day as a nurse) he stays home and takes care of our daughter Full time. and I also the main on who cleans the entire house whenever I’m off (deep clean it so that it’s cleaned to my liking) is this normal behavior for husbands or significant others? We would always fight about how he wouldn’t clean the house while I would work (no team work) or got so bad that he ended up talking to this girl sexually and said he did that because he felt all I did was yell at him and I would work so much that I didn’t have sex with him as often… is this normal?

Answer

Is a lazy, cheating husband normal? No, and you know that. It sounds like he literally brings nothing to the table and you’re already doing everything on your own, so why are you with him? This is divorce-worthy.

Answer

No. He's lazy and cheats on you by talking to another woman. The video games need to be removed from the house until he can show that he can clean, do laundry, etc without you having to tell him over and over. I wouldnt put up with this very long.

Answer

This is about way more than dishes/laundry.
Did you decide as a couple for him to stay home? Or was he not doing much before? Is he taking care of her or playing video games all day. A sahp is a hard job but he is not doing what I would think is entailed. Household responsibilities should lean towards him, you are doing too much. Then he’s at least emotionally cheating on you if not more. Then blaming you. 
It’s really time to pay this all out with a therapist and think hard about this dynamic and how you want to proceed. The resentment will eat you alive

Answer

so he stays at home n does nothing but cheat… leave him already

Answer

The audacity. I'd divorce. It's not just the weaponized incompetence, but the fact that he excuses his cheating by blaming this on you for HAVING to work so much to support his lazy butt.

Answer

Didn’t even read the whole thing. No I don’t have to tell my husband how to be an active participant in his own life and household. He’s an adult. And not an asshole.

Answer

You are a working married single mom. I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt until I got to the part where he stays home all day and you work 12 hours shifts and still have to come home and do all the cleaning…not to mention the cheating. No it’s not normal, you’d be better off leaving him and putting your child in daycare. He’s taking advantage of you!

Answer

Hes just lazy and inconsiderate. Id be done.

Answer

At first I was like okay that's not that abnormal. My SO has severe ADD and can put a load of laundry in and will forget about it for a few hours. Then I got to the part where you're working full time and he's not cleaning so he can play video games. AND hes cheating on you and blaming you for it?!? Girl, you need to get out of there! You're already doing everything on your own and you aren't even having sex. All he's doing is making sure the kids survive until you get home.

Weaponized incompetence ?

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products