TTC 1st time at 30 years old - anxiety!

[EDIT: thank you for your reply! It helped put things into perspective]

Hi, is anyone else here 30 years old or over and only just starting the TTC journey?

I would've wanted to have at least my first kid before turning 30, but I got married at 27 having waited until marriage to do the deed and my husband and I started having intimacy issues from the get to.

He has had a very low sex drive due to a stressful lifestyle, being overweight, and body-image issues. We went without sex for 3 months a couple of times and the rest of the time was maybe once a month. Very frustrating especially because he doesn't do much about it and for a while claimed it was only fair that I be patient with him since he accepted my wish to wait for marriage, so we didn't have sex for 4.5 years while we were dating. But that's beside the point.

We've never used protection, but only really started trying last month, only just before I turned 30, because he's decided he's ready - we're buying a house and my income is becoming a bit more stable (I'm a freelancer). So he's making an effort to be intimate at the right times - and only then, to avoid tiring himself out. I'm not enjoying it, it's very matter-of-fact, but at least we're trying for a child, more than a year later than I would've liked.

So, beside venting because I rarely talk about these issues out of shame, I wanted to know if anyone else is dealing with the anxiety of being in their 30s and still not having kids.

9 months of pregnancy is a long time, so it's likely I won't become a mother before 31, even if things were to work relatively well, and then in the blink of an eye I'll be 32 and so on... And we would like a big family - my husband would like as many kids as possible, while I'm thinking no more than 3-4 kids, realistically speaking. And already with that aim in mind I feel like time is running out. I don't think I'm one of those super fertile women, and fertility declines around 32 years old!

I might even have PCOS. I'm still testing because 2 years ago my doctor half-assed the procedure and ended up saying I had nothing to worry about, but I still have a lot of the symptoms, so I went to see a specialist who said the tests the other doctor had me do were completely useless. I wasted almost two years because of that doctor.

Anyway, I am anxious, I might start resenting my husband for the time we waited, even though my job instability definitely played a role in the delay, and I wish somebody could give me a glimmer of hope.

Have you had kids almost back to back? Was it traumatic for your body? Did you beat the odds and get pregnant despite PCOS or being "older"? I know some people have kids later in life - even my mother-in-law had my husband after 40, but I would've liked to be a younger mom. I don't think I would like to keep having kids after 40, likelihood aside.

[For context: my husband and I are from two different countries in Europe and we live in his country of origin. We went to university together for 1.5 years and then COVID also happened and we were long-distance for over 2 years, meeting every few months. In case you were wondering why it took us so long to get married.]