Is my boyfriend using me?

Question

We have been dating for 5 months and lately I feel like he’s not taking the relationship as seriously as I thought. He refused to come to spend Christmas with my family and new years too and he made up a lame excuse that he had to work. And he almost skipped exchanging Christmas gifts with me and almost didn’t come over my house to exchange gifts. And he cancelled my date twice when he promised he wouldn’t. And he usually sexts me when he is horny then is quiet on me when he’s isn’t. Why is he beginning to act this way. All I want in life is to marry one day and have a family. Is this my fault? Why is he acting this way and what should I do about this?

Answer

First id like to mention that as a grown ass person, you can’t just get out of work for things. ESP Christmas. That’s not a lame excuse. And if you can’t handle someone not being able to do something with you because they have to work, you aren’t ready for a relationship. My husbands job will fire you if you don’t come into work during Christmas. But if he only seems to be able to text or talk when he’s horny, then that’s the red flag you should be concerned about. But also at 5 months, I would never expect someone to come spend the holidays with my family. It’s kinda too soon for all of that. Don’t try and rush things because you want to be married. Rushing to marry someone will mean you wind up unhappy. You’ll marry the wrong guy and then your fucked.

Answer

If he only texts you when he is horny and ignores you when he isnt, constabtly cancels plans with you and avoids spending time with you then I would say yeah, he's just using you for sex. Not wanting to spend the holidays with your family after only 5 months is normal. Having to cancel plans because he had to work is a legit excuse to canceling plans; most people dont have the luxery of being able to just take off work whenever they want to or even ask for certain days off.

Answer

I mean, it’s only been 5 months. I don’t think it’s weird to not spend holidays together at 5 months. And if he had to work he had to work. At the same time, if this stuff is a dealbreaker, it’s only been 5 months, good thing you found out quickly so you can move on.

Answer

Yeah new years is usually spent with your partner. I understand the whole Christmas thing but yeah if he isn't texting you much and only when he's horny then for me that means I'm being used. He's not serious and trust me if a man wants you he will do everything to make you feel loved and appreciated. I would just move on. I can't be with someone that keeps canceling on me as well. Sorry you have to deal with this.

Answer

Maybe he thinks things are moving too quickly? You are asking him to spend the holidays with your family. For some people that is a lot for only seeing each other for five months. I think starting with exchanging gifts between the two of you and not family stuff would've been smart. Maybe he is pulling back a little because he doesn't want to move so fast.￼￼￼￼ I don't think that only texting when he's horny necessarily means that he is using you, but it probably means that he likes to use texting for that reason and isn't much of a texter otherwise.￼ However, the two of you are in a relationship, so if you need more communication through texting that isn't sexual in order to feel like you are cared for and not being used, let him know that you need that and see how he responds. If he wants the relationship to survive, he should be willing to do that. ￼￼￼ It's also OK to have a conversation about whether or not the two of you are on the same page as far as how serious this relationship is and the future of it. ￼

Answer

If you’re not getting what you want from a relationship and feel he only speaks to you when sex is involved- leave. 
A lot of people don’t have time off for holidays and plenty of people aren’t ready to share family holidays with a new partners family. Those two things aren’t exactly abnormal but that’s doesn’t mean stay if he isn’t putting effort otherwise.

Answer

@GlowGPT please help me with this topic!

Is my boyfriend using me?

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