Triggers in relationships

Does anyone else have something that their partner might do that will trigger them and hurt them rlly deeply that might not even be a big deal to others ? It consumes me it hurts me so deep and I hate it but I can’t control it and I don’t think anyone understands.

When I was a kid my entire child hood my parents would just fight and worry about each other so I felt extremely alone but I would crave their attention and quality time. One thing that would happen so often would be they would say yes to me and then it wouldn’t happen. They would say yes and then change their mind or just say yes to shut me up as a kid.

I would spend hours screaming and crying to get my way tantrums were my thing but I was just hurt. I remember one night I was like 4 and we were meant to go to the park and then I woke up in the middle of the night and they told me we didn’t go because I fell asleep. And it would continue until I was a teenager when I would organise things with my friends and my parents would say yes to shut me up and then when the day came they would say no and everyone would go without me or crack it at me again.

Then I had a 7 year relationship where my ex has his own company and worked a lot and when he wasn’t working he would help his dad’s car business out. So for 7 years it was me asking to do things and him saying yes then it not happening. I would go to bed alone, eat dinner alone and we lived together. I ended up leaving the relationship over it just falling out of love . When it happens I feel like I did when I was 4 all over again and almost have a tantrum. I do silent treatment or I’m really moody and argumentative and there’s nothing they can say or do to make me feel better and I hold onto it forever.

My partner tonight woke up at 10:30 am when we were meant to have a beach day and I asked him if he’s gonna get ready and he asked for what? It ended up getting too late we would’ve got there in the afternoon so I cracked it and it became an all day argument where he blamed me cause I didn’t wake him up and stuff. Then he said well go for a walk at sunset instead and when it came to he fell asleep again and woke up in the dark and said do you still wanna go for a walk (this is cutting a long story short). I feel so deeply hurt I can’t stop crying and he’s getting mad at me because he said he didn’t mean it and I should’ve woken him up which idk why I don’t I just get upset at the fact that if he wanted to he wouldn’t of gotten in bed and slept in the first place idk.

I feel like this shit is so stupid and it ruins my relationships I feel like an adult toddler getting so upset at something so small. Is there ways to work on things like this. I don’t have a therapist.