Who is at fault?

Question

So my best friend is in a relationship with a coworker. She found out (from her boyfriend) that he previously slept with another coworker wayyy before their relationship started. He says him and the other girl are cordial but my friend feels some type of way. He asks the other girl to print papers and sometimes she has seen the other girl in her boyfriend’s classroom. She has stated how that makes her feel but nothing has changed. She went off and he made her feel like she was tripping. Who is wrong?

Answer

Your friend is wrong. It happened before they were together, and they are coworkers. Her boyfriend can’t just cut contact with her. If your friend has an issue, then the relationship isn’t for her

Answer

Your friend. Everyone has a past. Working with co-workers isn’t crossing any lines. Nothing described here is inappropriate.

Answer

“My friend feels some type of way” No, your friend is feeling insecure, distrustful, and/or disrespected. See below:
Insecure - she doesn’t feel secure in the relationship, so she should talk to her boyfriend.
Distrustful - 
a) If she doesn’t trust the girl, then she should tell her boyfriend. BUT she does not need to trust the girl, she only needs to trust her boyfriend.
b) If she doesn’t trust her boyfriend, then they need to work on that.
Disrespected - she should only feel disrespected if the girl did something (ex: flirt with her boyfriend knowing that they’re together). If that didn’t happen then this doesn’t apply. 
Lastly, it seems like they’re teachers since you mention “classrooms”. I don’t find it odd that she’s in his classroom particularly if they’re friends. If the friendship is an issue then see above for insecure/distrustful. 
Bottom line: She needs to speak up about how she’s feeling and they will work it out. She/You cannot assume he will act a certain way & get mad at him for not following through if she doesn’t talk to him. If she already told him & nothing has changed, different story.

Answer

Honestly, what can she do about it? They happened before she knew him so there is nothing she can do. 
But I have boundaries and I wouldn’t be comfortable with my partner being around someone he use to date and seeing them all the time. So I honestly wouldn’t even bother with him if it was me. 
If it’s going to affect them and their relationship then I just wouldn’t do it.

Answer

Her.

Answer

What is their job? I mean, if they work together, then it creates a strained work environment to try to avoid people all the time. Better to just get along and move on. But idk. Hard to say without being there. Sometimes the subconscious picks up on stuff that our conscious doesnt. And if thats whats happening then she just shouldn't be with him.

Answer

Your friend is crazy and also crazy wrong

Who is at fault?

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