Never thought it would happen

I have been through so much. I have 2 kids already 10, and 8 and I always dreamed of having a big family but I always seemed to choose the wrong relationships. Abusive relationships. I had an abortion about 5 years ago or maybe 6 and I regretted it so much so I blamed myself and hated myself and thought God was angry at me and when I got into my relationship 4 years ago I felt like it was my karma to be with a guy who has a low sperm count and so many other things. I got disappointed every period to the point where I stopped trying. I left it alone and just gave up on the idea of maybe having anymore kids. Maybe the boys I have are all I'm supposed to have, but then I started thinking differently, trying to heal, mentally and spiritually. And out of nowhere I realized my period didn't come after Christmas. I finally took a test today and it said positive. I'm so lost for words. I didn't think it would happen and now I get to post like you guys and say I have 2 positive test!!