Never got to talk to my boyfriend about our poor sex life

Me and my boyfriend have been together 3 years. We've talked about getting married for and have honestly spoken about just going to the court house next month and doing it. Everything is perfect about him. Except our sex life. He does not stay gard very long. He has a hard time getting it up and a hard time keeping it up. We're both 24. He said he has a lot of trouble with getting in his head about sex because of his past. I'm the first girl he's ever been with. He's went to his doctor and it's not a physical issue. He isn't low testosterone. Because of my boyfriends past his doctor thinks his unresolved trauma might be causing physical issues and to see a trauma therapist first before he even considered prescribing my boyfriend Viagra. He hasn't really been looking into therapy because it was in it his whole life since he was in the system and he said he didn't feel like it ever helped him. So he hadn't been looking. Sex was still bad. I was going to have a talk with him saying that he needs to at least put in the effort and try to make our sex life better. I want to be with him forever but I don't want to go forever with bad sex. Well I never got to have this talk with him because my boyfriend called me wailing 2 days ago. I had to leave work to go comfort him. He was taken away from his parents because of their drug issues. They're sober now and got custody of his little brother back who is 17 now. His mom seemed to have relapsed and she was the one driving. They were also driving in the snow with his brother and dad in the car. She started sliding on the road and they hit a semi and they all 3 died. So obviously my boyfriend was in distress. I held him him while he wailed. I know don't know when I should have this talk with him. He at the very least is open to grief counseling.