Just feeling sad - post D&C

I have felt for awhile that baby had stopped developing, but found out for definite at 10w5d and had my D&C at 10w6d. Embryo had stopped developing pretty early (sometime in week 6 I think), but gestational sac & yolk sac continued. “Missed abortion”. I’m angry with my body for not knowing what it should know. I continued to be pregnant for weeks - feeling all of the first trimester symptoms. I knew at my first ultrasound at 7 weeks that something was probably wrong (non-diagnostic US) - I was measuring a week behind and I knew my dates were right. I officially saw my OB and had an office US at 8w3d was measuring 8 days behind and couldn’t see baby. Dr said to be cautiously optimistic and come back in 2 weeks for a detailed dating US. We knew right away, hardly saw more than an empty sac and then the CRL at 6w5d. My Dr was incredible and so empathetic. She got me immediately on the surgery schedule for the next day. It all didn’t feel truly real until seeing the pink and now red on tissue. The cramps are painful but not much bleeding. I’m starting to feel sad (as it becomes more real and as I feel less pregnant), mostly angry at/betrayed by my body. We tried on and off for a year and ended up pregnant with an early Aug. due date (not the most convenient for a teacher, but we were excited to hopefully welcome baby#2).

Thank you for being a place where I can rant and let me have the space to grieve. 💙