MIL told my SIL that she's happy I lost my baby because I would be a terrible mother

I'm really fucking heartbroken right now. I had an ectopic pregnancy and also lost my tubes because of it. There was a twin in each tube. I thought this would be my chance to start over and it seems I'll never be a mom again and I found out my MIL told my SIL she's happy I lost the babies and I would be a terrible mom. My MIL hates me because for some reason my mom decided to tell my MIL about my daughter that my MIL didn't know I had. My husband knows about my daughter but my MIL didn't. My daughter is 18 now. She has lived with her dad since she was 12. I'm still paying child support because I'm so far behind which happened when I lost my job. I love my daughter. She want nothing to do with me and I respect that. I wasn't kind to her. I picked men over her. I let men hurt her because I was insecure. I blamed her for what men did to her because I was an insecure stupid mother and instead of protecting her, I was jealous. I deserved to lose custody. I take accountability. I am taking accountability now because I did turn a blind eye to what my daughter was put through. I have extended that offer to mend our relationship. She doesn't want to. I am respecting her wishes. I got pregnant and saw this as a chance to start over. Do it right. Be a good mom. Then I lost them... My MIL hates me because she has her own trauma with her mom and how I treated my daughter is how she was treated by her mom. She told my husband if he married me she would never accept it. That hurt me. She didn't even come to the wedding. My husband still sees his mom on his own without me. I found out from my SIL what she said to her and I'm so hurt. I will always say I wasn't a great mom to my daughter and I was going to do better but I think saying you are happy someone lost their baby is disgusting...

Edit: I was only 20 when I had my daughter. I was really young. I had an absent father so naturally when the men I was with gave her more attention I was jealous and insecure. I should have protected her more and when some harmed her I had this insane idea that it was because of something she did and made me blame her and be jealous. I understand it was wrong now. I know where I went wrong and I deserve a chance to be a real mother! Ive learned from my mistakes. Also my daughter does not talk to me so I doubt she would care if I was a good mom to her sibling.