What if?

What if you decided that you didn’t want the type of life you were going through in the present moment? You decided on change and it wasn’t a New Year’s resolution but a life long dream. You don’t have much toxic beliefs but instead the toxicity from other people is put onto you.

For example, the perpetrators are having a bad day, totally unhappy with their situation so they start talking about you or spreading issues about things that you have clearly moved on from. They are essentially putting their problems onto you. Nothing is ever positive with them so you feel toxicity coming your way and that chance to change can’t even begin because they won’t even let you start.

Keep in mind you let them be free with all thoughts and beliefs they have and in return they put all their free troubles onto you. No I didn’t do what you said I wish I could tell them, instead I cried from all the losses and sat in one place for hours wondering when will I be able to move on.

I’m sure other people may feel that moving on is different for everyone but it’s hard when your the trouble for all their present concerns. I don’t agree with anything they have put me through. I never would do this to anyone, and I never have, nor ever will. This is horrible and the feeling of losing myself is not a relaxant, I’m constantly upset and wish to be given a chance. Everybody says ‘you’re wrong for this and that’ and then they do the total same thing that supposedly hurt them to themselves or other people.

I would never sit there and say ‘yeah and I put it in her face, I hurt her and it felt good, and I’ll do it again’. Their mindsets need to change, I’m in my mid 20’s and my life hasn’t even begun moving forward, I’ve missed out on so much. What if change was more easier to get to? That would be so much more better for this person and me.