Someone remind me how quickly it goes

I’m 7 days postpartum with my second and in the “trenches”. No sleep, haven’t changed my clothes or showered in two days, milk leaking but baby won’t latch so I’m attempting to pump (not going well), feel like a failure, feel like a shell of a person. Can’t sleep because I have too much anxiety to let my husband take over. Baby is up every 1.5 hours. Stressed about getting paid on leave for both of us. I haven’t seen fresh air or sunlight in days. No one besides my husband has even asked me how I’m doing or if I’m okay. Not a single person!!

We have two 8 year olds (from previous relationships) so newborn days are so long behind both of us we’re struggling and I’m also struggling to keep the older kids entertained and happy while basically being tied to the baby or the pump all day and night and I feel guilty. I’m grumpy and not fun or happy. I feel like I’m in a pit of despair. Like I just have this feeling of impending doom constantly. I don’t even wanna let the kids hold the baby because I feel so on edge and anxious.

Please remind me that this will go by so fast because I know it did with my first but it was also hell at the same time and I had way more help with her; which is also an adjustment, me and my husband are pretty much doing this ourselves.

I feel like illl never be myself again I start questioning why I wanted to start over. I know I need help but I even brought it up at the baby’s Dr appt and in the hospital they say they’ll refer me and then no one ever does.