Idk why im staying in this relationship...😖

Well im staying cuz our kids and cuz i need help financially ... but he keeps treating me like shit , if i dont want to have sex he says "then im going to leave u or leave to his moms house .. he controlls me cant let me go out anywhere and do anything alone like shopping and getting my hair done and going to my doctor appointments without him being right there on my asss and wanting to take me .. i cant breathe and be free hes holding me hostage he just wants me to be ugly and fat basically.. i havent done my makeup in years and my hair done and get dressed up nice for me. He doesn't let me workout . He doesnt let me go to specific stores without him tripping on me that guys will flirt with me. I cant take selfies of myself and pics of me only if hes in it and my kids .. i lost myself and not myself anymore. Im not happy... if i leave him i would be embarrassed and feeling so depressed even more... feeling embarrassed because i thought he would change and be a normal man.