Looking for advice

I am a SAHM due to my baby being a preemie and health condition for my baby. I don’t know what to do anymore. Baby daddy can’t keep a job, and refuses to help with baby. I live kind of far from family, don’t have anyone to stay with. I am trying so hard to manage everything the baby, the house, and bills. I am mentally exhausted and drained. I get blamed for everything and treated badly. I’m scared of trying to leave because last time I did things got really bad. I try to be happy, I keep pushing for my baby. Everytime I try and talk about things it turns into, him yelling and screaming and blaming me for everything. Sometimes he blacks out and it gets super bad. He has never laid hands on me. I guess I’m looking for advice on what to do. Why is it men can’t understand and listen, without exploding or feeling attacked. I try so hard to talk and explain but it gets me no where but holding my baby covering there ears to shield form him yelling. This is the first time posting. I’m hoping people have advice and stories they can share about what they did. Thanks in advance