How would you handle this?

Question

So im 37 weeks today literally could have a baby tomorrow or 3 weeks from now .. anyways my husband just lost his dad Thursday night very unexpectedly and since then hes been drinking it usually is a couple drinks a day well tonight he went out and   got hammered drunk like can hardly stand up and walk you cant understand what hes saying like not sober at all. And part of me is being understanding that he just lost his dad he needed out of the house and maybe a couple of drinks to ease his mind cause hes gone through so much the past couple days but then i think about this being our 4th baby and he literally could come any day now so what if he goes out and i go into labor and cant get ahold of him cause hes out drinking and i definitely dont want my support person at the hospital to be so drunk he cant stand or talk.. how would you go about saying something that doesnt seem like your an inconsiderate bitch who isn't understanding ? Help me please 😩

Answer

It's not rude or mean in any way to kindly tell him, that you know the loss is causing a lot of pain for him right now, but he has a family that needs him. And he needs to be there because your child could literally come any day now.

Answer

Losing his dad is so tough and behavior changes after loss are normal. However, getting this drunk is never normal. Not at all saying he’s an alcoholic based off the past few days, but he may need additional support to cope with this loss. Talk to him about going to therapy, or even just attending an online support group for people who recently lost a loved one.

Answer

I wouldn’t be mad about this one incident, when my husband lost his father figure he was the same way. I think the first week or so it’s a bit excusable to cope “unhealthily” as you are in survival mode. Maybe tell him you aren’t mad about this particular incident but bc baby is so close, could he compromise and just have a drink or two at home.

Answer

ugh this is such a tough situation... first and foremost i’m so sorry for the loss and that you are going through this. i couldn’t imagine. on one side i understand your husband being upset and wanting to drink or whatever. but on another side he still has a family and a life he has to handle. like you said, if he happens to be out and about and you go into labor he would regret missing that for the rest of his life. maybe you need to sit him down when he’s sober and just explain in the nicest way possible, that you understand and you get it and he can grieve as he sees fit, but that the possibility of him missing the birth of yalls child is high at the rate he’s going.. and that his father would most definitely NOT want him acting this way. just try to be gentle and remember that he is going through something very very hard unfortunately

Answer

Men handle things so so different to us ladies. My partner is the exact same - he emotionally drinks! Definitely just sit down with him, ask him if he needs any support from you and that you’re a little concerned im sure it’s just his way of ‘coping’

Answer

I’m so sorry for your loss. If it was me I would encourage my husband to go to therapy to help him cope with his loss. Losing a parent is a huge life event. You are right that you need your support person. I would talk to him about that and how as you understand this is a huge life event in his life, you also need him there for his own family. I would also suggest having another person be available if he really can’t get a grip on it. Another family member like your mom, sibling or a friend. I do encourage him to go to therapy. It seems like he is having trouble coping and he can become alcohol dependent and that’s not good for you or your children.

Answer

Girl, his dad just died. Respectfully, give the dude a fucking break. He needs to grieve how he needs right now otherwise he won’t be in a good headspace for birth. Find yourself a backup driver in the meantime. His dad has been dead like two days. He needs a little time

How would you handle this?

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