My boyfriends addicted to porn

I already know there’s gonna be people on here saying “it’s natural” “everyone does it” yeah well I don’t care don’t comment if you’re gonna say something like that.

So I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years & we’ve been living together for almost a year. I didn’t know he watched porn until later in our relationship & once we moved in together I caught him watching it maybe two or three times. My whole life I’ve suffered with severe body dysmorphia and feeling very self conscious about myself and he knows this. So when he watches porn it makes me feel less of myself & really breaks me down.

Back in the summer of 2022 he promised me that he would stop watching porn. This was because I expressed to him how it made me feel as well as some complications he now has due to excessive masterbating (he sometimes gets soft in the middle of sex, can’t cum more than once a day).

Sometime in February 2023 I went to bed & he stayed up on our couch in the living room, I woke up to use the bathroom & went to ask him when he was coming to bed and when I looked at his phone he was watching porn. Now let me add we are a fully black couple, he was watching interracial porn (he had a white girlfriend in the past). I got so pissed off & we didn’t speak for 4 days until he ended up telling me he had a porn addiction.

I have been trying to understand & help him find ways to stop, but he refuses to speak to a professional & he never wants to talk to me about it. A few weeks ago we talked briefly and he told me the only reason he hasn’t watched it is because he is scared I’ll catch him. Not because he wants to stop or doesn’t have the desire, but because he doesn’t want to get caught.

Well he’s been off work the past 2 days & I’m 34 weeks pregnant so I am home everyday & I had a feeling he watched porn so I went on his phone & to no surprise he was on a website that was specifically for interracial porn.

It’s currently 1:45am & i can’t sleep because my stomach is just twisting & turning & I just feel so sick & upset. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel this is gonna continue after our son is born & that he will do it while the baby is in the room or not pay attention to the baby because he wants to watch porn. We’re not married so I constantly think to myself should I move back home with my mother and not deal with this anymore, but there’s so many complications. We live 4 hours away from my mom, I’m pregnant with his child, we have so many bills together, we just moved into a new place, etc. I really just don’t know what to do anymore.

Also to add in there, this has affected sex for me too. Because all I can think about it “is he imagining the porn scenes he watches” “why are we doing this position that we never EVER do”