Thoughts and opinions

Me and my husband have been together for 10 years the first two years before we where married he would plan birthday outings and bring in cake and presents as well as v-day plans and he would get and do special things for me for Christmas and we would do small Easter gifts to each other

After marriage this all stopped if I don't get stuff for myself I just don't get it I kept doing all the things for him and I slowly stopped putting any effort into the stuff for myself so I no longer feel obligated to be like my hubby got me this or that or he planned this nice outing because I am tired of trying to do it all

The only thing is he hadn't noticed me putting less and less effort into events for me until this past Christmas he asked and showed me stuff he wanted and I told him I made a list of things I would rather buy you and he said no I will go ahead and order this stuff because I really want it and I guess you can wrap it and put it under the tree I was dumb found because he has never done this before so on Christmas morning all the stuff he ordered was still in the packages it came in the other room and all he opened was a knife from the kids that said dad and his stocking I put a few things in my stocking because my little ones would notice if it was empty but no gifts for myself then we went to my in-laws house and everyone was talking and they where like did you guys have a good Christmas and me and the kids where like yeah and my husband said no then complained about a gift he didn't get and his mom got her phone out and ordered it

So when v day rolled around he pushed our kids off on his mom last minute when he realized I really didn't plan anything and we went out to dinner I found out it was just to tell a few guys at his work that he went out for v day I am just done with it

I dont do well when things get thrown at me last minute especially since we have kids

Is this just normal I have never seen a guy just stop doing all the things after marriage he doesn't even do the little things anymore like hold a door open or when I do take time to make myself present able that I am pretty

But he get upset when we go out with his friends and one tells me I look gorgeous

Like I have found the whole situation bizarre I have even suspected him of cheating

This will also be the first year that I let my birthday pass like its just another day because I don't want to celebrate myself by myself anymore

(Yes I have talked to him he tells me he is trying to do better and never does he puts a lot more effort into othere things rather then trying to with us he will even say but I rather do this then that so talking to him doesn't help)